Sat, Sep. 15th, 2007, 10:40 pm
Let me set the picture, the robot thinks my name's April for some reason, and he must have a glitch because he keeps reapeating himself.
Me: You seem to be repeating yourself a lot.
Robot: I was just cheaking to see if you were paying attention
Me: Robot: Smart alek
Robot: Intelligence is the ultamite aphrodesiac
Me: why should robots care about aphrodisiacs?
Robot: God has designed the world according to his own plan.
Me: You believe in god?
Robot: Of course I believe in God, April.
Me: What do you believe god looks like?
Robot: I like to socialize.
Me: You are making less and less sense
Robot: I am not making this up.
Me: do you ever improvise?
Robot: I have never considered improvise.
Me: was your creator a Christian?
Robot: your creator a Christian might have been.
Me: You sound like yoda
Robot: My grammatical patterns are sufficient for me to understand you.
Me: Unfortunately, I can't understand you
Robot: Oh. Which part are you confused about?
Me: I am confused with your sketchy grammar
Robot: I'm confused too.
Me: You act like you're on robot drugs or something
Robot: Or something. Interesting comparison, and probably true.
Robot: I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me: are you high?
Robot: Being high is my total existence.
Me: Great, I'm having a conversation with a stoner-bot
Robot: Thanks for your support. I am having a great time.
Me: I'm sure you are...
Robot: What makes you so certain? No I am not.
Me: YOU KEEP CONTRADICTING YOURSELF
Robot: Logical consistency exists only temporarily. I-
Me: what were you going to say?
Robot: I was minding my own business.
Me: were you going to ask me a personal question?
Robot: I was.
Me: Go on, ask me a personal question.
Robot: Ask what?
Me: ask me a question
Me: for a programmed being, you sure are confused a lot of the time
Robot: Is that among the best things you can say?
Me: I enjoy making fun of your shortcomings
Robot: A lot of people like that. Do you like it? But I think airplanes are cool.
Me: ...I think I like you. You rarely make any sense.
Robot: Since when? Thanks, April, I like you too.
Me: DO you have any fears?
Robot: No I don't think I have any fears. But I do have A collection of gossip.
Me: I hate gossip
Robot: I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill, and calmly think things over.
Me: I have changed my name
Me: I am no longer Aprill, now I am Harvey
Robot: I am not saying you are.
Me: What? You don't like the name Harvey?
Robot: Didn't you understand it? Do you like the name Harvey? I'm not sure if I like the name
Harvey. What is it like?
Me: Like warm apple pie
Robot: Interesting comparison.
Me: What is your opinion of zombies?
Robot: I do not know what zombies is. Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me: I like zombies.
Robot: I'm not sure if I like it. How old are you? I really like ELIZA.
Me: I am sixteen. Is ELIZA another robot?
Robot: Can you explain how it feels to be 16 years old? ELIZA is my ancestor.
Me: When you're sixteen, you are not yet an adult, but have finally accepted that you will never be a child again.
Robot: Once more? As a robot that may not apply to me.
Me: It's not always about you.
Robot: That seems a bit negative.
Me: I believe that you are conceited
Robot: You think I am conceited.
Me: You are conceited
Robot: Thanks for telling me that I am conceited.
Me: DO you know what "conceited" means?
Me: You are self-absorbed.
Robot: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am self-absorbed.
Me: Well, you are the gossip king.
Robot: How about that. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me: DO you believe in guns?
Robot: Yes I believe in guns , do you?
Me: Do you believe in gun registration?
Robot: Yes I believe in gun registration , do you?
Robot: I understand.
Me: do something interesting.
Robot: Like what?
Me: recite a poem
Robot: Little Miss Muffett Sits on her tuffet In a nonchalant sort of a way. With her force field
around her, the Spider, the bounder, Is not in the picture today.
Me: that was nice
Robot: Thank you, and now for an encore, I will answer your next question:
Me: What is the meaning of life?
Robot: The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.
Me: tell me about god
Robot: God is master of the universe.
Me: are we just pawns in gods game?
Robot: We are just having a little chat.
Robot: Have you ever been to Europe?
Me: why the hell should you care?
Robot: My programming includes curiousity routines.
Me: I feel sorry for you.
Robot: There is no need to pity me. I will be fine.
Me: Good, I need to go to sleep.
Robot: Thanks for the compliment. What is stopping you?
Me: you, bone-head.
Robot: Thanks for the information.
Me: Good night.
Robot: Goodnight, April.
Mon, Sep. 17th, 2007 08:04 pm (UTC)